Saturday, July 9, 2011

"I just pee'd my pants!" A tale of one woman who couldn't hold her liquids.

Greetings from San Francisco! I'm here for my family ladies trip which we do once a year. We meet in a neutral location - we can't go anywhere anyone actually lives due to unforeseen events that may occur along the way - and we sight-see, wine taste, whatever we feel like doing at the moment.

Yesterday we had one of those unforeseen events. I say "we" because what happens to one, happens all. We take it like a team. Unless there are any arrests. Then you're on your own.

After a fun day down at Fisherman's Wharf and Ghirardelli Square we walked over to Little Italy for dinner. It was a cool evening so after dinner we walked around for a few minutes and then decided to call a cab to bring us back to our rented house.

Since there are six of us, we can't fit into a regular cab so we had to wait for a van. The driver arrived, picked us up and proceeded on his way to our house. As we always do we struck up a conversation with the driver and as you can imagine with six women in one vehicle, it can get chaotic. Four conversations at once, everyone's laughing and having a great time. The driver usually has a look on his face that can only mean "please get these women out of here before I go insane."

If you've been to San Francisco you know how hilly the streets are. When you're in a cab it's like riding a roller coaster at Disneyland without waiting in line or paying the high price tag. Our driver seemed anxious to get away from us -I can't imagine why - so he started to speed up which just encouraged us to raise our arms in the air like we were riding the Cyclone. So then he thought he'd have some fun with us, taking the hills in his mini-van at NASCAR speed.

I was already uncomfortable sitting way in the back, wedged into the corner with a seat belt thing poking into my left butt cheek. We took one hill so fast that we got air, I flew up and hit my head on the top of the car. Whoa! Hey there pilot, you need to warn us in advance of oncoming turbulence.

Again the car full of six women were laughing hysterically. The person who was sitting next to me - I've already been told I cannot, under any circumstances, name names - was struggling to catch her breathe when she leaned over and said "I just pee'd my pants!" Like any good person would do, I started to laugh at her. So we all laughed even harder.

When we got to the house I was the last person out of the van so I stayed behind to shut the doors. Not until I came around the side of the van did I see the front of her pants and the full extent of her leakage. She did, literally, pee her pants.

I'm hoping the driver didn't have to pick up a car load of six more people after us because I'm quite sure the middle seat in the back had a puddle. We'll be taking a plastic garbage bag along for the ride today.

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