Wednesday, February 22, 2012

God Only Knows

I've promised a few friends that I would post what my sisters and I wrote about my Dad and read at his memorial service. Here it is, finally.

One day I'll stop posting depressing, sad, tear jerking posts about my Dad. Hopefully this one makes you laugh instead.

Many of you knew our Dad in some capacity or another and hopefully you were lucky enough to have been on the receiving end of his goofiness, interesting sense of humor, kind heart or his knack for culinary creativity.

My sisters and I wanted to share some of our memories of him and the important messages he instilled upon us. We wrote some of these down and titled it: God Only Knows...... What We’d Be Without You Teaching Us To:

1) Mark Your Possessions:
Black permanent markers were made for the specific purpose of writing your initials in big bold letters. Like DVD for instance, on all containers, baking pans, tackle boxes, baseball mitts, the inside of your clothing, etc, etc, etc. Basically, if you own it, it better be engraved with your initials.

2) Do It Yourself! While Practicing Frugality:
Keep duct tape and super glue handy at all times. Super glue can easily fix a broken bowl which can then be given back to your daughter for reuse in “like new” condition. (Even if said daughter thinks the results are on the questionable side).

Duct tape is all purpose. It can be used to remedy shattered windshields, a tear in a screen door or for writing those initials of yours on 3 inch strip and placing on random items throughout the house.

Other money saving tips: bread bags double as liners for moon boots, ziplock bags can be washed and reused at a minimum of 12 times and if a car runs just fine with a gaping hole on the floor, large enough for a small child’s foot to pass through (which conveniently, he had three of at the time) just duct tape the hole and you’re good to go for another 300 miles.

3) You Catch, You Clean:
Catching and cleaning fish, chickens, rabbits and other wild questionable “delicacies” must be done with your own two hands. The cleaning just might take place in your suburban backyard with neighbors gathering to see the ruckus. If you are one of those neighbors, you just might see a chicken with its head cut off, chasing a pack of screaming children as they make a beeline for the picnic table.

4) Be Resourceful in the Kitchen:
Recipes are a mere guide. This means you can replace an ingredient you have run out of with something similar. Remember, there is no need to spend more money than necessary. While you have the cupboard open, sprinkle in a dash of cayenne pepper, cumin, and Tabasco sauce for good measure. And if the mood strikes you, make an apple, rhubarb, carrot, blueberry, pecan upside down cake with lemon icing. Sprinkle with powdered sugar just before serving.

5) Be Kind to Strangers:
You just never know when you might meet your next new friend. This can include picking up a Polish man on the side of road who barely speaks English and bringing him home to meet your family for dinner. This apparently isn’t considered a potential hazard to the safety and well being of said family.

Our Dad taught us the practical things in life, however quirky they may be. Thanks Dad, for just being you.

Love Always,

Your Girls

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